discourse aside, one reason i headcanon enjolras as gay is because i think the way he would incorporate it into his worldview would be incredible. like i don’t think he would believe straight men actually exist. he would be arguing about how men are objectively more attractive than women since they are of course superior intellectually, physically, etc. so naturally one will be attracted to a man over a woman but it is the duty of citizens to form patriotic unions whence come new citizens that will be raised to cherish the Republic and patrie. thus the beauty of a woman is not physical but the way in which she assumes the form of the Republic herself in bringing forth citizens that will be suckled at the breast of Liberty, drinking the milk of Equality. thus while a man may hold great affection, nay admiration for a woman as she performs her sacred duty, it is impossible to compare to the love a man feels for his equal in the bonds of Fraternity, his brother in arms who valiantly guides him towards the new dawn of the ages. obviously you all only have mistresses for clout.

and everyone is like ENJOLRAS WHAT

#enjolras/orson scott card otp <- @primeideal this tag was a one-hit KO and i will never be able to unsee it. cursed. borderline infohazard. thank you from the bottom of my heart, i HATE it.

discourse aside, one reason i headcanon enjolras as gay is because i think the way he would incorporate it into his worldview would be incredible. like i don’t think he would believe straight men actually exist. he would be arguing about how men are objectively more attractive than women since they are of course superior intellectually, physically, etc. so naturally one will be attracted to a man over a woman but it is the duty of citizens to form patriotic unions whence come new citizens that will be raised to cherish the Republic and patrie. thus the beauty of a woman is not physical but the way in which she assumes the form of the Republic herself in bringing forth citizens that will be suckled at the breast of Liberty, drinking the milk of Equality. thus while a man may hold great affection, nay admiration for a woman as she performs her sacred duty, it is impossible to compare to the love a man feels for his equal in the bonds of Fraternity, his brother in arms who valiantly guides him towards the new dawn of the ages. obviously you all only have mistresses for clout.

and everyone is like ENJOLRAS WHAT

french person: 80

me, an intellectual: blaze it

Primary drivers of novel kink proliferation in fan media:

1. Already wrote about all existing kinks; started inventing new ones in order to avoid repeating self
    
   
2. Struck by worldbuilding inspiration while writing smut, needed to contrive reason for topic X to come up
    
   
3. Began as meme reference, but you know, actually, now that you think about it
    
   
4. Curious to see how many people you can convince that this is a real thing
    
   
5. Puzzling out bedroom logistics and decided to set yourself a challenge
    
   
6. Concerned about potential accusations of plagiarising someone else’s boner
    
   
7. Just feels like sort of thing character in question would be into, and who are you to argue
    
   
8. That little voice in back of head that says “hey, you know what would be really fucked up?”
   

@disasternoj replied:

Briefly read “novel kink” as “kink relating to full-length novels”

Somehow we always end up talking about Victor Hugo.

Victor Hugo wrapping up a 5-page paragraph: Oh, you like it when I talk wordy to you? Can’t get enough of my massive, turgid purple prose? Well hang onto those pretty little semicolons, because you’re going to be reading this next sentence all night –

– which brings us to a vital missing item on the list:

9. Cursed shitpost that got out of hand

Sometimes your relatonship with a fictional character is too formal for them to be a Blorbo. They wander onto the screen or page and it’s like oh, Cousin Blorbmorton has come to pay their respects.

#Or even more respectful #You must give my regards to the Earl of Blorbingshire #He has done me a good turn and I remain his humble and devoted servant #If it be ever within my power to further his good name and interests so shall I endeavor to do so (via @galaxseacreature)

All right friends, I've put it off long enough:

DNI if you disapproved of the play Hernani, you don't believe that Balzac is the GOAT, you never went through a Napoléon phase, you were a dedicated law student with no moral scruples over this, you smoke tobacco, you agree with the concept of convents, you hate reading and/or gardening, you are not critical of whatever government is in power, you stan that repugnant creature The Octopus, or you have ever attempted to stop me from eating charcoal (THIS MEANS YOU CHARLES).

sitting laughing at myself thinking about “virgin canon enjolras vs chad au enjolras” but it’s like reversed

this is my sense of humor now

This is 100% new and 100% Tumblr with 0% ads.

If you love ads, then this post is not for you. If you love Tumblr but hate ads and want the one to continue without having to endure the other, then this post is literally for you. Hello, you.

As of today, you can set up ad-free browsing on your personal desktop computer, from anywhere in the world, and then enjoy the same effervescent Tumblr you know and love (yes, including mobile) without the interruption of ads. Scroll away.

Some caveats:

• It’s $4.99 for a month of pure, unadulterated nonsense.
• If you like a discount, you can get 33% off (that’s four months for free) at $39.99 for a whole year. Imagine.
• This is opt-in. You don’t have to do this. We won’t make you.

How do you opt in?

Easy! Just go to your Account Settings on desktop and hit "Go Ad-Free." From there, you can choose to pay monthly or yearly:

And that’s it! You’ll be able to enjoy your favorite blogs and posts without any pesky ads getting in the way.

That’s all for now, Tumblr. Back to your blorbos.

I know people will bitch about this but look, they have to make money and this is SO MUCH BETTER THAN POST+

@staff Post+ and Tipping both go through Stripe without storing any credit card details on Tumblr’s side - is this also true of the ad-free subscriptions? It’s not immediately obvious from the payment page, so you might want to include or link to that info from there.

Also @ the mess in the notes, yeah guys I like uBlock Origin too but this DOES eliminate ads in the mobile app, even if checkout is desktop-only for the moment.

Also, the more money Tumblr gets directly from its userbase, the more the userbase’s concerns become customer concerns. Up until now Tumblr’s only customers were advertisers and Post+ creators and your eyeballs were the only product on offer. Once some chunk of the userbase is paying for Tumblr itself, the site also becomes a service being sold to us, which affects the calculus of who needs to be kept happy to keep everything running. Even if you have no plans on paying, the ability to let a bunch of terminally online suckers subsidize everyone else’s Tumblr habit? Yeah, that benefits you directly.

I don’t care about the twitter people’s replies to this I want the white whales of the literary salon tastemakers on tumblr